The Crass Commercialization of America (or, my trip to Six Flags - Great America)

I had fond memories of Six Flags - Great America as a child and teen. It was an amazing place for someone of that age group. The roller coasters, the little rides throughout the park and seeing my favorite cartoon characters (Looney Tunes) come to life. As a recent high school graduate and just a week before I went into the Army a group of friends and I spent the day there. It is, to this day, one of my most cherished memories.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to take my son to Six Flags - Great America thanks to my ex-wife. Her employer was offering tickets for $25.00 and it was buy one get one free.  Which I have to say was more than reasonable for an entry fee. Especially when considering that the fee at the gate is $56.99 per person.

Everett and I arrived at the park at 9:30, just a scant thirty minutes to the parks opening. In past trips to Great America I recall the off-ramp being backed up on Saturday mornings at this time of day. I chalked it up to the light rain that was falling and did not think much of it. We pulled into the park and stopped to pay for parking, $20. For parking! I felt that was an absurd price for parking; however, we had purchased the tickets and had already burned through a half tank of gas...turning around and going home was out of the question at this point.

We parked fairly close to the front gates, far closer that I ever recall parking, especially on a Saturday morning. Our tickets were scanned and we entered the security area, not something unexpected in a large public place in this day in age. We went through the metal detectors and my camera bag was searched. Not really a big deal. Once through the security checkpoint we were pounced on by photographers...I really wanted to take a photo of my son in front of the large reflecting pool in front of the double carousel; however, with the army of park photographers acting like paparazzi chasing down celebrities I did not feel that I could.

Onward we went - to The American Eagle, my favorite roller coaster. We were in the first car on the second run of the day. This would be my son's first roller coaster ride and watching my son's stomach leap to his throat on the first hill was priceless!

After the Eagle we walked around the park to plan the rest of our day. This was when I began to notice how much the park had changed from when I was a child/teen. Everywhere you looked was an advertisement and I mean everywhere. One of my favorite rides, The Demon, had one set of cars covered in advertisements about Stride gum. Ads for the new Smurfs movies were everywhere. If you stood in line for a ride you were bombarded my loud music and advertising...even if you were not standing in line for a ride you heard the same loud music and advertising in the background of the park as these messages were pumped through hidden speakers throughout the park.

I also noticed a lot of the smaller rides that were all over the park in my youth were gone. Replaced with carnival games and the inevitable barkers that come with them. Just another way of taking a parents hard earned money away and putting it into the coffers of Six Flags.

After standing in yet another line for another ride I realized I had very little patience for the advertising message that was being pounded into our heads constantly. I broke down and bought a Flashpass. What is a Flashpass you ask? It is a way to suck even more money out of a parent - and also separates the haves from the have-nots. In all honesty, I felt and still do feel guilty that purchased one. What this pass does is set up four different access levels for certain premier rides. The first access level is the general wave of humanity that cannot afford one. They stand in line for hours to ride these rides. The second level of access is the one I purchased. You wait for access to the rides for the same amount of time; however, you do not have to stand in line. You can go and do other things while you are waiting. Then when it is your turn you walk up to the Flashpass entrance and walk right onto the ride. The third and fourth levels (gold and platinum) each give you shorter and shorter wait times and with platinum you can even ride a ride that someone who has been waiting to ride three hours for a second time.

Like I stated earlier, I felt guilty for purchasing one of these passes. I felt, and still do feel, like they create a class system in an amusement park. Some of the people who had been standing in line for hours had some choice words to say to my son and I as we walked up to a ride without waiting two hours in line. Honestly, they are right. This is a very poor system and screams about what is wrong with America today. Money. Money will buy you access to anything. If Six Flags were a decent company they would at least give out the basic level of Flashpass to everyone who has paid admission to the park so that you don't have to stand in line all freakin' day. However, there is money to made, profits before people.

Speaking of profits...lets talk about food service at the park. Should it cost over $23 for two slices of crappy pizza, some soggy breadsticks and a Coke? I was actually undercharged for this combo, evidently the girl did not see the breadsticks. I felt like saying something and under normal circumstances I would have, but in my opinion they were ripping me off...and if I took them for five bucks...so be it. Later in the evening we were looking for someplace to eat dinner...and wanted something other than the horrible pizza from earlier in the day. We decided on burgers...until we saw the price...$13.99 for a cheeseburger and fries...with no drink. Now at $13.99 for a burger and fries, that had better be the best goddamned burger and fries on the face of the planet. Something both my son and I doubted it was after our pizza experience earlier in the day as such, we by-passed the dinner experience at the park and decided to grab something on the way home. (For the record, we stopped at McDonald's where dinner cost us $9 for both of us...and was probably better than what was offered in the park.

Profiting off of food is not just another way the park gets you...it was hot, in the nineties yesterday. Bubblers (Water Fountains for my non-Wisconsin readers) were few and far between. So you had to purchase drinks. $3.50 per drink plus tax. I spent $30 on drinks alone...in one day!

As if all of this were not enough I discovered that new "rides" that had popped up in the park were charging additional fees. My son wanted to ride go-carts so we went over to check them out. When he saw that they were charging $8 per rider he looked at me and said, "Dad, we don't need to ride go-carts, they shouldn't be charging for this."

There were also signs all over the park stating that Great America was the cleanest theme park in the world. While it is clean it is falling into disrepair. In several occasions I noticed things that were points of pride in my youth were no longer kept up. As you enter the park the first thing you see is a reflecting pool with a double carousel behind it. In my youth the reflecting pool was pristine. It was a beautiful blue without a speck of dirt in it. Today the water is clean, but the pool bottom is filthy. The double carousel was a work of art at one time. Today the artwork is no longer vivid, in some cases it is so faded that you cannot make out what it once was. There were other things; however, I do not want to bore you with a laundry list of repairs.

Did my son and I have a good time. Yes, we did. Did my son notice the crass commercialization, yes he did. I asked him at the end of the day if he wanted to take a souvenir home. He chose to take a map of the park home as it was free...and everything else cost too much.

Will we go back...no. I cannot see going back the Six Flags - Great America. One, the costs are prohibitive. I cannot imagine going there and paying regular prices with a family of four. Which is why I think the park is struggling right now...as I have alluded earlier the park was not very busy for a Saturday. The parking lot was half empty. I asked one of the employees about it and he said business is down considerably from last year - he said it is the economy. While the economy is a factor I do not think it is the only factor. Six Flags flat out charges too much money for admission, food, drink and everything else. Add on top of that the crass commercialization of the park...and you have a place that stops being about fun and is only about profit. As I said earlier, one of my fondest memories was going to Great America as a recent high school grad...I am not sure that as a recent high school grad I could afford that trip today.